My Emails Are None Of Your Business, Says Hillary Clinton

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Hillary Clinton has refused to discuss the contents of the emails sent on her private email server because they are her ‘private business.’

Hillary Clinton has refused to discuss the contents of the emails sent on her private email server because they are her ‘private business.’

Appearing before reporters after a campaign speech on her home turf of New York, the Democrat frontrunner responded to questions about the FBI investigation into the email scandal by saying the emails were ‘very personal.’

They are like poems that I write about my deepest thoughts and feelings. I don’t want to show anybody right now. How would you like it if I demanded to see your most personal things? You would feel violated. Keep out.

Democrat voter and Clinton campaign volunteer Michelle Tapanga backed the former Secretary of State. ‘She’s obviously very upset. If that is what she firmly believes, then that is good enough for me.’

Meanwhile Jake Stevens, a member of the U.S. Marijuana Party and a college dorm acquaintance of Hillary Clinton said, ‘Wouldn’t these details be of use so people could see what Hillary talks about when she is serving us in a public position? She wrote poems at college and she had no qualms about showing everybody so I don’t know why she’s clammed up now. She was quite talented but there was too much weird stuff about virgins and blood sacrifices for my taste. I am more of an Alan Ginsberg man.’

Meanwhile, the Washington Post has been forced into a correction in a story about Hillary Clinton and the FBI investigation into whether her use of the infamous private email server compromised security and broke the law.

The Post originally reported, via an anonymous “lawmaker”, that there are 147 FBI agents on the Clinton case. The figure was part of a long story about the investigation in which the reporter asks: “W-H-A-T?” and “Doesn’t that seem like a ton for a story that Clinton has always insisted was really, at heart, a right-wing Republican creation?

I-n-d-e-e-d. On Tuesday the Post issued the following correction:

The article cited in this piece said that 147 FBI agents had been detailed to the investigation, citing a lawmaker briefed by FBI Director James B Comey. Two US law enforcement officials have since told The Washington Post that that figure is a bit too high.

The FBI will not provide an exact figure, but the officials say the number of FBI personnel involved is fewer than 50. The headline has been corrected accordingly. I apologize for the error.”

Still, that is almost 50 FBI agents on Hillary’s case. I’m not sure they listen to somebody when they say ‘Keep out.’

Baxter Dmitry
About Baxter Dmitry 6015 Articles
Baxter Dmitry is a writer at The People's Voice. He covers politics, business and entertainment. Speaking truth to power since he learned to talk, Baxter has travelled in over 80 countries and won arguments in every single one. Live without fear.