KGB Sends Trump His First Directive: Axe F-35, Buy MiG-35 Instead

Fact checked

Sleeper agent Donat Ivanovich Trolstoyevski, better known as US President Donald Trump, has been issued with his first directive by the KGB.

During a telephone conversation with Putin at KGB HQ in Moscow over the weekend, Trolstoyevski was ordered to “Axe the F-35 and buy Russian MiG-35 instead.”

The Trump Administration has ordered a full review of the costly F-35 program. KGB sources say that Trump is already negotiating a contract with Russia for 10,000 beautiful MiG-35s.

KGBBy Paul Kaiser:

The F-35 is a complete disaster. The over budget, behind schedule stealth fighter jet has at least 276 defects and won’t be fully combat-capable before 2020. And the program’s total price tag? Over $1 trillion.

Back in December, Trump described spending on the fighter jet as “out of control” and said billions could be saved on military “and other” purchases.KGB

Well, it looks like it wasn’t just empty Twitter-talk: Defense Secretary James Mattis has ordered a full review of the F-35 program.

Comrade Trump (real name: Donat Ivanovich Trolstoyevski) has performed spectacularly. Years of KGB plotting is finally coming to fruition.

The Manchurian candidate’s first orders from Moscow? Cut the F-35 program, and spend the remaining budget on purchasing cutting-edge, Russian-made MiG-35s instead.KGB

This will pump billions of delicious US dollars into the Russian economy, allowing even the poorest babushka to buy an iPhone 7.

Thank you again, Donat Trolstoyevski. And keep up the good work!

From Russia Insider



  1. No, you have been misinformed. Comrade Trolstoyevski is holding out for the Sukhoi PAK FA, but Putin isn’t sure he wants the US to have a better fighter than Russia is fielding.

  2. I think all these governments are a fake most likely criminal cabal and work in concert with each other to get over the population.

  3. Ax the F35??? That would be the best thing to happen for America. This lemon had already cost the american taxpayers 1.5 TRILLION DOLLARS?? Not only doesn’t it fly, but there’s only like 20 guys who know how to fly it because it’s so complicated to fly that by the time you have learned to fly it your if retirement age. This is the biggest waste of taxpayers dollars that INSANE MCCAIN HAS ever got us into

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